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The Jain-Patel wedding weekend is a modern synthesis of traditional
functions that can take upto a week in India. We have condensed
these events down into two days, but have retained much of
the spirit and flavour of the events.
Sangeet
Traditionally this is a dance party given by and for the
women of the bride’s family, a time when grandmothers,
aunts, mothers, cousins and siblings, nieces and close friends
gather around the bride and impart pearls of wisdom regarding
marriage. Often they would do so by telling stories of their
own marriages, offering didactics on how to manage the everyday
of marriage. Musicians and singers perform while the women
take turns dancing to different songs. At this time, the bride
also received her mendhi (henna) on her arms, hands, legs
and feet. The leftover mendhi is applied to unmarried women
to wish them future success in being a bride themselves. This
may also have served to identify “suitable” women
to the unmarried men of the barat the next day at the wedding!
a. In modern times, the sangeet has become a co-ed affair;
family and close friends of both the bride and groom are invited
to celebrate the impending union by lending their voice and
fancy footwork to the event. Often, skits will also be performed
that roast one or both of the happy couple.
b. Our sangeet will be a fairly informal but close gathering
at home. Samir and Sandhya will both have received their mendhi,
but mendhi artists will be available for those who want it,
especially the unmarried women and men. Anyone wishing to
perform a dance or skit should bring a CD of the music; our
DJ will be able to play it for you.
Barat
In traditional times, the groom and his entire village would
travel to the bride’s village for the wedding. He would
arrive on horseback, with his family and friends preceding
him and announcing his arrival with their singing and dancing
and music. This entire entourage is called the “barat.”
The bride’s family would receive the barat, give them
food and drink and time to refresh themselves, and then the
shaadi would begin.
a. Since Samir’s family, the main components of the
Barat, are arriving the day before the wedding, they will
receive refreshment via a formal lunch on Saturday morning
at Birchwood Manor. All are invited to meet each other in
this informal gathering
Clothing
We respectfully ask our guests to refrain from wearing all
black or all white during the wedding weekend. In most Indian
cultures, these colors signify death or evil, respectively.
To maintain the color and flavour that is so unique to Indian
weddings, we ask our guests to please consider wearing Indian
clothing to the reception, if not all the events. There are
several places nearby to buy Indian clothing (e.g. Jackson
Heights, Queens or Edison, New Jersey). Alternatively, made-to-order
clothing can be purchased for you through
Xari Couture. Please contact Sandhya if you have any
questions.
In Gujrati tradition (Samir’s family), the bride wears
a white lengha with a red veil, which is what Sandhya will
follow for the shaadi.
“Recommended Watchings”
In India, weddings are colorful, chaotic events full of singing
and dancing. Samir and I wish to capture some of this energy
on our wedding; we encourage all of our guests to sing and
dance along during every moment of the festivities.
For those who have never been to an Indian wedding, here
are some relevant references:
Monsoon Wedding– minus the relations between
the unmarried woman and her father’s friend, this wedding
captures the spirit of an Indian family preparing for a wedding.
The house is full of people, there is some party or gathering
every day, and during the wedding, people are wearing colorful
clothing and dance to popular songs. We invite all of you
to perform at our Sangeet, as Mira Nair’s niece does
before the wedding.
Bend it Like Beckham– This story is of a Sikh
family in London, so some of the clothing and traditions are
different. But again, loud and frenetic singing and dancing
is the key. Especially during the “barat,” when
Samir approaches the venue on his horse, his friends and family
will precede him with singing and dancing in the streets.
Please make his barat the loudest you can!
The Simpsons,
"The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons"–
Though we won’t have a wedding nearly as nuts as Apu
did, the episode definitely gets the nuances of Indian culture
correct. A good one to watch for what NOT to do…
Gift-giving Guide
At this point in their lives, Sandhya and Samir have almost
everything they need for a home… except a house. If
you would like to give a contribution to their house fund,
they would greatly appreciate it. If you would prefer to give
a boxed gift, Sandhya and Samir have registered their gift
preferences at Williams Sonoma, Crate and Barrel, and Bed
Bath and Beyond. Please visit the following websites to make
your gift selection:
Macy's
Bed, Bath, and Beyond
Crate and Barrel
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